Actually, I really don’t care, but that coverline kind of screamed out at me from the latest Vogue which lay on top of the toilet where one of the bunnies left it. It screamed at me not because I thought the answer to the world’s problems (cellulite! pimples! belly fat!) would be within but because I knew the answers would probably be either dull or amusing, or both.
Here they are:
Daria, of the perfectly well-toned biceps…
–surfs to become aware of the certain parts of her body
–skateboards when she can’t make it to the beach
–switched to a vegetarian diet after reading about the “blood-type diet” (wtf is the blood-type diet? oh well….)
Lara of the “magnificent bosom”…
–realized while being tied up with rope for a photo shoot that it was a test of this magnificent bosom’s authenticity, for “if my boobs were fake they might have exploded under the pressure” (has that happened? boobs exploding? what a mess)
–checked herself into rehab and stopped drinking
–for some reason after the above, and getting married, her breasts shrunk… but she’s happy.
Gisele, ahhh Gisele, whose image just 6 weeks after birth was widely disseminated, leaving “many hankering for the secret behind her postnatal workout” (it’s called genes and exercise)
–alternated between core-tightening yoga and kung fu during her pregnancy, now does cycling, boxing and strength training (dang…and all that while nursing?)
–eats strictly organic (props to her, yep)
Joan, the Puerto Rican beauty…
–took up boxing in college and “knows how to throw a good punch” (watch out for that!)
–has no secretive secrets for maintaining her beauty, including her “perfectly proportioned face” which she says she “can’t mess up” other than a trainer who works her hard and “reshaped her butt.” (Hmmmm…)
Natalia, who at 29 is mother of three (jeeesh)
–runs marathons and does twelve sun salutations a day
–had wobbling arms but no more, from the yoga, no doubt.
Raquel, the Zimmerman from Brazil
–running shoes and a map, oh yes, and surfing (kauai is her favorite, montauk and brazil second) (Wonder what is third, let me book my flight right now…wait, need new laces first)
P.S. I do love Vogue, and read it regularly. Although it’s less and less relevant to my life it remains lovely to look at and actually has some good articles sometimes, really…